Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Final Word

I tried to gather a list of reasons why I should be exempt, allowed to leave. Tried to think of a way to present them that would somehow persuade them. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't going to happen.

No Poor Me excuses are going to work. As I stepped back and looked at the case I was trying to present, it just looked weak. Feeble. Selfish.

Then, for the first time, I REALLY realized the gravity of the truth. I really did sign a contract.

See you in Part Four.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy shit dude, FUCK! C'mon you can claim something medically can't you? I've seen countless amount of people with nothing wrong with them get out on a medical discharged because they fake or exaggerate a condition they may possibly have.

But you seem like you have too much pride to do something like that, which is not bad ting by any means of course.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

dude that sucks but i'm glad you are gonna keep posting

medicblog999 said...

Hey there!

Just wanted to say that I stumbled across your blog somehow (I usually only read medical/EMT/Paramedic blogs), but every time I get my update on bloglines telling me that you have posted another one, I always go straight to yours.
Each time I open it, I anticipate saying "Good on you!!!" when I hear that you have gotten your discharge, but each time Im left hoping that maybe soon you will hear the news you so long for.
Just wanted you to know that you have people thinking of you over here in the UK too.

Anonymous said...

Yup, you really did sign a contract. That doesn't mean that you didn't get screwed. People mature emotionally and intellectually at different rates, "brain fusion" is completed around age 24-26. Why do you suppose your age group is targeted for enlistment? Testosterone is a deadly drug.
Did they get you? How much more time? Is it too late to become a conscientious objector? Dude, I hope for you. I too want a blog from the Unlikely Student. If you go back, do your damnedest to stay safe and sane. I repeat, I want my tax dollars getting you an education, not messing around in a bullshit war. z

Anonymous said...

Yes, it took my ex a strenuous divorce before he realized that that marriage wasn't "just a piece of paper." Maybe the bright side is you will now take that shit seriously.

Anonymous said...

Part four it is then.

CB

bigD said...

Hi Suspect,
Is this your final word or the Army's? If this means you are officially being stop lossed and sent back to Iraq, I am going to throw a fierce temper tantrum and then I am going into a deep depression. :(

Ryan, you will never be selfish in my book. If this is what has to be then so be it. You know I will be there for you come hell or high water. God(s) bless you Ryan. You are ever in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

You are doing the right thing even though it hurts. A deal is a deal even if it turns out to be not to be what you anticipated 4 years ago. Sure you could be a pussy and try every trick to get out of it, but you have too much character to do that. Sad for you and proud of you at the same time. Good luck, man.

Anonymous said...

To the person above, he is not a "pussy" for wanting to have a life outside of the army, and it certainly isn't a sign of a lack of character to try and follow through with it. I think the army shows a lack of character in many of their dealings, but what can you do?

Yeah, its a deal and a contract, but most other contracts can be bargained. why not this one? "Because its the army". What a bullshit excuse.

Its going to be great reading these posts all that year.

joy.

Anonymous said...

God bless, Suspect, and good luck...

Anonymous said...

Props

Anonymous said...

(((Hugs))) and prayers, J

themorethingschange... said...

Man, don't know what to say here. While I was working in the yard today I too, wondered about CO status for you. Granted, you didn't object when you signed up but you do now and it seems like you've good reason to object now. Not "poor me" reasons, moral ones.

For now I'll leave you with a little bit from Bonnie Raitt - "Whether your sunglasses are off or on, you only see the world you make."
~P~

13 Stoploss said...

This isn't an attack to some of those posters asking about CO. I just don't think they fully understand the implications.

Going CO is an automatic branding of "shitbag." Refusing an order will probably result in demotion, extra duty, and internal treatment by Commaders, NCO's, and battle buddies as that of a traitor. I don't mean that in the sense of doing 14 and you're done.

The process of CO can take over a year, and every Commander along the way will do their damndest to make sure the packet is lost, or buried beneath a tall stack. they will draw it out, and literally persecute the soldier. it will be a tireless, physically painful, and mentally anguished experience. There's no guarantee he'd be out before his buddies came back--it isn't a quick and easy process.

he'd have to face panels and questioning by commanders and others who will be biased and pissed about his decision. in the end, you're not looking at a GC discharge (no more school benefits), and one has to admit, there is a hefty trail of internet proof that this would be just an excuse.

but, if you can honestly look into the eyes of a panel and tell them, when they confront you with the question of a situation where you will be shot and die--could you pull the trigger to save yourself? If you answer no, and accept your death in that situation, and can convince the panel satisfactorily, only then could you get out.

the process is laborious for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

Well, this bites the big donkey one, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. SO, I expect that chapter 4 will bring you good tidings with great joy.

The funny (not) thing about that contract is that the majority of people who have signed it have not actually had to live up to it. It's strange that you, the most articulate among them, has had the whole shitbag handed to them.

Ya know, because you're articulate, maybe you can convince the yunguns to actually READ it and convince future generations that it's not as clear as the recruiters tell them. Maybe that's your purpose.

I signed it. I never had to do what you're having to do...

I'm just saying, what's you're purpose?

Anonymous said...

Suspect,
i stumbled onto your blog via The Dude's and have been lurking since xmas. i keep hoping you have better news. . .
you have helped me come to terms with my own path. I've seen too much apathy amongst my peers, and a terrible burden repeatedly placed on the few. I now have my own countdown. similar to yours, but headed the other way. maybe if I go, someone can come back and have a life. I realize the futility, but it still feels right. no politics, no star spangled superhero bs, just a chance to shoulder the load so that someone else can let go.
I am rooting for you and am looking forward to a post from the unlikely student.
best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Stoploss,
You're no doubt accurate on the treatment a CO receives. But there is an astounding amount of support that can go with it also. Remember, "hard does not mean impossible, and impossible is just a word!"
It looks to me like Suspect, like many others, is just used up, or at least feels like it. I don't think Suspect's generation, or anyone's generation has been taught to truly respect life. If so, we would all be conscientious objectors. I would like to see at least the same amount of energy go into preventing war as waging it.

Anonymous said...

Man, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I can't even imagine how gut-wrenching it must be. Thank you for sticking with the blog though, its good to hear about what's going on from those living it.

JAT

Anonymous said...

When you make a deal with the devil, the devil always gets his due.

membrain said...

As always, Suspect, you have my greatest admiration, respect and best wishes for a safe tour of duty in Iraq part deux.

I think the commenters here who are suggesting that you lie your way out of your commitment don't have a clue who you are.

Stay as safe as you can. Part four it is.

David M said...

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 03/13/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

Anonymous said...

ahem, who here is suggesting lying his way out of a commitment?

membrain said...

"ahem, who here is suggesting lying his way out of a commitment?"

My apologies. I misunderstood the first post. I thought the poster was suggesting that the Suspect should fake a medical condition.

Sorry to all concerned.

Shari said...

WOW, I'm sorry... thats all I can say because no one else can truly share what you must be feeling right about now. Just remember that no matter what you have the support of all of us who have come to care about you through your writings. You will get through the next round, and at some point you will move on to life on the outside. I just wish the moving on point was coming sooner than later for you...

Jean said...

I wish you the best, wherever the road takes you.

Alex said...

I had a bad feeling this would happen ever since 5th Brigade flipped the schedule. It's no consolation, but I feel for you man. School was dangling in front of you, but they just kept pulling on the string. If there is anything to take from this, you can protect the new joes with your expertise and care. You and the other guys know what's going on, and it's invaluable to keep your men alive. Just stay safe and bring this one home for us.

Anonymous said...

Count me as one more civilian who loves a soldier, and cares about your fate like you're his family. I wish you both were free to get to work on realizing your own dreams. Until you are, count me as one more who will be praying you stay safe and sound.

red said...

Part Four it is then. It may not be right, it may not be fair, but you DID sign. A few folks have mentioned that asking young men to sign up for something like military service is a scam in itself for various biological reasons- so is it even a valid contract? I don't know. Either way you signed it. We're behind you though. Be safe, stay sane, and God bless.

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