There's pages upon pages, resources, pamphlets and porno mags all designed to help you get into the Army. Over-eager recruiters and MEPS stations in convenient locations, like they're competing with Starbucks. Oh yeah, it's easy as all hell to get in, shore 'nuff.
And if you REEEEEEAALLY want to get out? Truth is, you can. But they got you by the balls with all sorts of punishment because maybe, just maybe, you don't want to be subjugated anymore.
"Hey man, you raised your hand, you made that oath!"
If I was really defending this country from enemies foreign and domestic, I'd be kicking down the doors of prime time game show/reality TV series locales and CLAYMORE CLAYMORE CLAYMORE and expending every last round I had, filling vapid celebrities with holes, then torching the entire place like one big Vietnamese hooch. Oh yeah, the flames would singe the sky and the letters HOLLYWOOD would turn blacker than the hearts of the soulless fucks that are ok with letting us get collectively dumber.
But that isn't the case. Still, do you want to join the Army? It's fucking EASY-PEASY, pal. They'll hold your hand every step of the way, even after you swear in and sign up, and they suddenly aren't so nice about it.
Yeah, getting in is pretty simple. But what about getting out?
How many pamphlets do you see laying around that explain how to go about wrapping your enlistment up? Your time is coming to a close, right? Sure, they got a program that helps you write resumes and maybe even look for jobs, great, but hold the fucking phone:
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GO ABOUT GETTING OUT, PERIOD?
What form? Take it where? What do I need? How do I get it? Where do I go? Who do I talk to? What am I supposed to be doing? How do I go about taking care of myself for once?
Bitch, you don't. You fucking gear up and get ready to go do some more TRAINING! Training for what? Live-fire exercises so I can scan your groceries?
"You're still drawing a paycheck, you should still--"
THEN STOP THE FUCKING PAY. Point me to the VA so I can start letting them know just how fucked and medicated I am these days. Ask your chain of command? THEY RE-ENLISTED! They don't know how to get out! Even if they do, there is some strange deal where people in the Army don't LIKE to see other soldiers get out. The Lifers? They seem to hate that shit. God forbid you move on with your life and maybe, just MAYBE start treating it like it really is your own life.
So what next? Training? Sigh, see ya there sarge.